I truly understand why you feel that way. Dealing with misunderstandings.

Our daily lives are filled with many battles, many of which are persistent themes that we accept as part of human nature. Misunderstandings are as old as anything else in this regard. Each of us develops own ways of dealing or surviving with such an unfortunate trait. Does it really have to be as persistent and unsolvable?

It is all about the amplitude of emotions and how different people deal with that.

Our balance is affected by opposing forces - intensity of our lives on the one hand, and resignation to the status quo on the other. Verbalised communication is a lottery that often starts with unintended miscommunications. People deal with this roller coaster in different ways.

Resolving miscommunications is a specific skill that requires patience. The real issue with the whole topic is that building up the skill and emotional bank balance requires taking a few steps back.

Communicating with others can be thought of as an exercise of crossing the river. Currents and rocks will change your final landing point. Truly problematic misunderstandings are the ones where two parties insist on immovable targets.

How does one develop the skill for river-crossing communication gaps? Self-reflective discussion with the opponent is an under-appreciated pattern. The challenge for both parties is to discover differences in perspective. Resolving those differences is not always easy because it requires utmost humility. Facilitated retrospectives are a good way of taking a few steps back.

The secret is to avoid turning retrospective chat into a complaints galore. Instead, the core aim should be the one of achieving a common conclusion. If you focus on conversation, rather than winning the argument, then it is possible to arrive at saying - “I truly understand why you feel that way”.

Misunderstandings do not need to be growing into stalagmites.